Dealing with Angry Kids

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Child Development
Communication

Dealing with Angry Kids

When people hear "you-this" and "you-that," they have a tendency to become defiant and defensive. If the parent, on the other hand, is expressing his or her own feelings and expectations without ordering or blaming, the child is more likely to respond with respect rather than retaliate or act out. The parenting goal here isn't to show the child how angry s/he has made you, it is to have the chore done and to teach the child that his/her misbehavior has a negative effect on the family and on his/her future privileges.

Creating an angry child can lead to the child behaving disrespectfully, feeling little or no empathy for others and putting themselves into dangerous or illegal situations. A dehumanize child (ridiculed, yelled at, treated with disdain) may begin to withdraw from the parent and perhaps the world in general. They will grow to feel worthless. They will find ways of diminishing the pain they feel inside by overeating, hurting themselves, drugs, alcohol, starvation, promiscuity etc., Some children become imploders - they turn their feelings inward and may eventually become depressed or even suicidal. Other children become exploders - they turn all their emotions into anger, become verbally or physically combative and may wind up in the juvenile justice system.
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