Warning Signs of Domestic Violence
- Frequent jealousy or insecurity
- Acting as if you belong to him/her
- Controlling behavior
- Short fuse
- Uses anger to intimidate and control others
- Blames and accuses
- Isolates you from friends and family
- Prevents you from doing things you want to do
- Tells you how to dress, wear makeup or speak in public
- Has a parent that is abusive or controlling
- Has been incarcerated
Things abusers say:
- My way is the right way
- You start 90% of all our fights
- You know how to press my buttons
- You purposely try to provoke me
- You know how angry I get and you irritate me anyway
- If you didn't act that way I wouldn't have to control you
- I'm not abusive I just protect myself from you
- You asked for it
- Your friends are idiots
- Your family makes trouble
- I don't like the way your co-workers look at you
- How can I trust you if I don't know where you are or who you are talking to.
- I have to control the money because you are irresponsible
- Is your boyfriend very jealous or possessive?
- Does he blame you for his angry outbursts or his other problems?
- Do you feel afraid to tell him you want out of the relationship?
- Does he accuse you of flirting or cheating on him?
- Does he frequently check up on you or make you check in with him throughout the day?
- Does he tell you how to dress or how much makeup to wear?
- Does he try to control what you do and who you talk to?
- Does he try to keep you from your family and friends?
- Does he have mood swings; one minute he is angry or yelling at you, and the next minute he is kind and apologetic or says he can't live without you?
- Do you often feel like you're "walking on eggshells" around him or trying not to make him angry?
- Does he put you down or criticize you and make you feel like you can't do anything right or that no one else would want you?
- Does he get in your face, point/shake his finger at you or intimidate you when he is angry?
- Does he yell, kick, shove, punch, slap, hold you down, throw things or hurt you in any way?
- Does he threaten to hurt you or somebody you care about (like himself, your family, your friends or your pets)?
- Does he force or pressure you into having sex or going further than you want to?
If you answered yes to 3 or more of these you are probably in a potentially abusive relationship. Don't minimize the risk you have gotten into. Get help.
Too many people have ended up dead because they refused to admit to themselves how serious their situation was. Don't become a statistic. Read our other domestic violence pages for information and resources.