Children are never benefited by a violent situation. If the situation is verbal violence toward a spouse, and the children are never a part of it and are never affected by it, then there may be hope in getting some really serious counseling. Get involved in anger management classes and couples counseling which works towards empowering a positive, loving, relationship. If this is something that both partners are willing to work at, then go for it. Any kind of violence which involves the children either directly or indirectly needs to stop immediately, or the non-abusive parent needs to take the children away from the violent situation ASAP! Children learn how to be adults by modeling their parents, for better or for worse. They learn to become abusive, or they learn to be a punching bag for other abusers throughout their life. Their sense of self-worth never develops and they have a suicide rate 10 times higher than children from non-abusive families.