Do Narcissists only love themselves?
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What's normal? If you mean like most people, then the answer is no. Instead of realistic goals, the narcissist has a grandiose fantasy. The fantasy cannot be effectively pursued because it is an elusive, ever receding target.
To the Narcissist, life is too difficult. The Narcissist does have achievements which might be judged as being very good, but he has to "minimise" them as having been "too easy" to achieve. The Narcissist cannot admit that he has worked hard to achieve something - this will shatter his fantasy of being grandiose or better than everyone else. He must outwardly belittle every achievement of his and make it sound uneventful, nothing special, quite routine. This enables him to support the dreamland quality of his fragmented personality. But it also prevents him from feeling accomplished by having reached a goal: he side steps the opportunity to get social support for his achievement which would help develop his sense of self-confidence,and strengthening his sense of self-worth. When he does achieve something - he degrades it to enhance his own sense of omnipotence (to keep from facing reality).
Narcissism tends to breed Narcissism. The Narcissistic parent regards his or her child as a multifaceted source of Narcissistic supply. The child is considered and treated as an extension of the Narcissist's personality. It is through the child that the Narcissist seeks to settle "open accounts" with the world. The child is supposed to materialize the unfulfilled Narcissistic dreams and fantasies of the Narcissistic parent.
This "Life by Proxy" can develop in two possible ways: the Narcissist can either merge with his child or be ambivalent towards him. The ambivalence is the result of a conflict between the attainment of Narcissistic goals and pathological (destructive) envy. To ameliorate the unease bred by emotional ambivalence, the Narcissist resorts to a myriad of control mechanisms. The latter can be grouped into: guilt-driven ("I sacrificed my life for you."), dependence-driven ("I need you, I cannot cope without you."), goal-driven ("We have a common goal which we must achieve") and explicit ("If you do not adhere to my principles, beliefs, ideology, religion or any other set of values - sanctions will be imposed").
The narcissist's partner must have a distorted grasp of himself and of reality. Otherwise, he (or she) is bound to abandon the narcissist early on. The tendency is for the narcissist to belittle and demean the partner - while aggrandizing and adoring himself. The partner is, thus, placing himself in the position of the eternal victim: undeserving, punishable, a scapegoat. Sometimes, it is very important to the partner to appear moral, sacrificial and victimized. At other times, he is not even aware of his predicament.
The Narcissist is perceived by the partner to be superior in many ways (intellectually, emotionally, morally, financially). The status of professional victim sits well with the partner's tendency to punish himself. The partner, by playing the role of dependent/victimb encourages certain traits and behaviors, which are at the very core of Narcissism. A Narcissist is never whole without an adoring, submissive, available, self-denigrating partner. His very sense of superiority, indeed his false self, depends on it. He needs a source of continual validation that he is superior.
It is through self-denial that the partner survives. He denies his wishes, hopes, dreams, aspirations, sexual needs, psychological needs, material needs, everything, which might engender the wrath of the Narcissist Godlike supreme figure. The Narcissist is rendered even more superior through and because of this self-denial.